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Saturday, March 12, 2011

cantek vs hodoh

Kalau perempuan cantik pendiam
lelaki akan kata: wow!ciri2 isteri idaman...
Kalau perempuan tak cantik pendiam
Lelaki akan kata: tak reti berkomunikasi agaknyer..

Kalau perempuan cantik berbuat jahat
Lelaki akan kata: mst ada krisis nih...kesiannyer...
Kalau perempuan tak cantik berbuat jahat
Lelaki akan kata: dah la tak lawa,perangai plak mcm sial!!

Kalau perempuan cantik menolong lelaki yg kesusahan
Lelaki akan kata: wow!heroin sejati...
Kalau perempuan tak cantik menolong lelaki yg kesusahan
Lelaki akan kata: hmm...taktik nak ngorat la tu...

Kalau perempuan cantik dpt lelaki handsome
Lelaki akan kata: ok la...bagai pinang d belah dua...
Kalau perempuan tak cantik dpt lelaki handsome
Lelaki akan kata: kesian...mst dah kena bomoh lelaki tu...

Kalau perempuan cantik d tinggal kekasih
Lelaki akan kata: buta kayu btol mamat tu!!
Kalau perempuan tak cantik d tinggal kekasih
Lelaki akan kata: patut pon kena reject...

Kalau perempuan cantik bawa BMW
Lelaki akan kata: ntah dato' mana bela ni...
Kalau perempuan tak cantik bawa BMW
Lelaki akan kata: mesti anak org kaya ni

Kalau perempuan cantik menuang air ke gelas lelaki
Lelaki akan kata: wah...caringnyer...
Kalau perempuan tak cantik menuang air ke gelas lelaki
Lelaki akan kata: eleh,gedik la tu...

Kalau perempuan cantik bersedih hati
Lelaki akan kata: don't worry,i will make u happy forever...
Kalau perempuan tak cantik bersedih hati
Lelaki akan kata: ckit2 nangis!!gembeng tol..ngade2 la...

Kalau perempuan cantik pandai masak
Lelaki akan kata: dah la lawa,pandai masak plak tu...
Kalau perempuan tak cantik pandai masak
Lelaki akan kata: ntah sedap ke tak tu...


Kalau perempuan cantik main2 miskol
Lelaki akan kata: syoknye!!rindu la tu...
Kalau perempuan tak cantik main2 miskol
Lelaki akan kata: ko ni takde keje lain ke??!sibuk ni tau tak!!

Kalau perempuan cantik hantar email hari2
Lelaki akan kata: sukenyer...!!
Kalau perempuan tak cantik hantar2 email
Lelaki akan kata: asyik2 email dia...boring!

husband buncit??

Sepasang suami isteri yg tinggal di suatu taman perumahan teres kat mana

ntah le..

suaminya keje kilang je..

isterinya dok umah, tak keja

suatu hari.. suaminya sakit kepala

dan rasa demam2 tak sedap badan..

balik keja ptg tu pi la satu klinik swasta

jumpa doktor untuk rawatan..

doktor nak peksa air kencing..

tapi yang pagi2 punya..

esok pepagi tu, suami pun kencing la

masuk dalam botol tak atas meja..

dgn harapan nanti balik keja..

nak wak pi jumpa doktor utk dipeksa..

isteri dok punggah cari bil letrik

bil air pun sama le dok atas meja..

dok tak dok tangan terkena botol

jatuh pecah, air kencing bertabur..

isteri dah kecut dan takut..

kalau suaminya tahu mampuih le dia..

so, dia kencing ganti dalam botol yg serupa..

harap2 suaminya tak tahu, selamat la dia..

suami balik lepas keja..

mintak botol kencingnya tu..

isteri bagi je ngan selamba..

wak pi jumpa doktor yg kemarin tu la..

lepas peksa doktor senyum je...

TAHNIAH.. Sah Mengandung!

kata doktor pada si suami..

suami melopong terkejut...

terus balik mengadu kat isteri dia..

susah hati bukan main lagi...

isteri nak tau gak apa halnya..

sambil mengeluh dia berkata :

'.. itu lah minah!! abg dok kata dah..

abg dok atas minah pun nak dok atas juga..

selalu sangat minah naik atas abg ni..

haa.. skang apa dah jadi..??? doktor dah sahkan abg pula yang mengandung!!"

isteri tergelak sampai berguling gantang..

suami bersedih dan keliru.. tak menentu

dok pikiaq nanti cemana nak beranak!!

perhatian buat suami2 dan isteri2 :

kalau suami di atas, isterinya akan buncit..

kalau isteri di atas.. suami pula akan buncit!!

zaman la ni ramai yg kita jumpa suami yg buncit dan boroi semacam je..!!!

kpd perempuan2 di luar sane.. take notes nie bwk msk klas k! :P

1. Melalui ‘eye-contact’
- Jika si dia merenung tepat-tepat kat mata anda, nie menunjukkan yang dia suka atau berminat dengan anda. Tapi awas jika berdepan dengan jejaka yang pemalu. Si dia akan cepat2 alihkan pandangannya dari merenung mata anda kerana dia takut yang anda akan tau yang dia sukakan anda!

2. Perhati kelakuannya
– Jika si dia nampak seperti nervous, semput, gelisah ker, ini mungkin tanda-tanda yang dia sukakan anda! (atau mgkn gak dia ada penyakit asma :-p..huhu) Dia juga mungkin akan banyak bercakap tentang dirinya sendiri atau merepek pasal bende-bende yang tak masuk akal. Gelabah la tu kot…:-)

3. Jika dia tunjuk minat pada perkara yang anda suka
– Misalnya jika dia tahu yang anda suka tengok cite2 ‘cintan-cintun’, mungkin dia akan suggestkan beberapa cite romantic untuk ditonton bersama-sama. Wah…romantik la pulak!

4. Perhati gerak-gerinya bila bersembang dengan gadis lain
– biasanya lelaki yang minat kat anda akan flirt dengan gadis lain dengan harapan anda akan perasan kewujudannya. Selain tu, dia nak buat anda jeles sebenarnya…

5. Suka mengusik atau menyakat
– si dia suka mengusik anda? Nie mungkin kerana dia ada hati kat anda! Usik-mengusik nie sebenarnya satu helah untuk menarik perhatian anda pada dirinya! So, next time jika anda marah sebab kena usik, pikir-pikirlah semula, ok!

6. Bercakap lembut dengan anda
– kalau sorang lelaki nie minat kat anda, dia akan bercakap dengan lebih lembut kat anda. Tapi, kalau dengan orang lain, dia akan bercakap seperti biasa. Biasala nie…sebab si dia nak tunjukkan dirinya yang sensitive gitu!

7. Melalui layanan
- Kalau si dia betul-betul sukakan anda, dia akan sentiasa melayan anda dengan baik, lembut dan sopan. Nie baru gentlemen namanya… :-)

8. Jika mukanya merah padam
– Jika anda tengah bercakap dengan si dia dan perasan yang mukanya telah naik merah, besar kemungkinan yang dia menaruh perasaan kat anda. Kalau muka dia merah bila cakap dengan kita jer dan bukan dengan orang lain, maknanya dia mgkn sudah jatuh hati la tu… huhu… :-p

So sekarang nie, mesti korang dah dapat pikir jejaka mana yang sedang menaruh minat kat korang, kan? Tahniah!

suami isteri

1.Cium Isteri
Pada suatu pagi, bertanya si isteri pada si suami:
Isteri :Abang tengok jiran kita yg baru pindah tu?
Suami :Kenapa? Isteri :Tiap pagi sebelum pergi kerja,
suami dia akan cium isterinya. Bila pulang kerja, dia akan
berikan isterinya sekuntum bunga mawar. Loving betullah mereka.
Kenapa abang tak buat macam tu?
Suami :Nak mampus... Mana abang kenal isteri dia?'

2.Bunuh Setan
Suatu petang selepas pulang dari kuliah agama di surau si isteri menceritakan apa
yang didengarnya dalam kuliah tersebut kepada suaminya.'Abang,
abang nak tau tak, ustaz kata bila suami dan isteri itu bersatu/bersetubuh
kan bang, dengan cara yang betul dan menjaga syarat yang
betul maka pasangan tersebut akan mendapat pahala sama seperti
membunuh 10 ekor atau beberapa ekor syaitan'. Kata si suami 'yerr kerr?'
Tak apa malam ni malam Jumaat, masa yang sesuai untuk bunuh syaitan kan , betul tak sayanggg?
sambil ketawa.. Isteri hanya tersenyum panjang. Selang dua hari kemudian,
si isteri berkata: 'banggg, jom kita bunuh syaitan... bang'.
Si suami tersenyum panjang.
Selang dua hari kemudian,
si isteri berkata:
'banggg, jom kita bunuh syaitan... bang'.
'takpe...tunggulah malam'.
Esoknya si isteri berkata:
'banggg, jom kita bunuh syaitan...bang' .
Si suami diam sambil mengangguk lemah.
Esoknya si isteri berkata
'banggg, jom kita bunuh syaitan... '.
Si suami tiba - tiba marah dan berkata ...........
'Ayang nie nak bunuh syaitan ke atau nak bunuh abang'

40 tips 4 better life

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did the previous year.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
38. Share this with someone you care about.
39. Think..think..think again before you step.
40. I love you, and miss you all.

A.W.A.K

Awak 
Hari ni awak nampak serabut 
Semua orang kutuk 
Tapi ada gak hati yang puji 
Jadi you can always count on me 

Awak 
Hari ni awak senyum kat saya 
Tapi saya buat-buat tak nampak 
Padahal nak elak dari pengsan… 

Awak 
Hari ni awak datang kelas saya 
Tapi Saya buat bodoh ajer 
Padahal bumi ni rasa macam dah tak cukup graviti 

Awak 
Hari ni awak nampak ensem 
Semua orang puji 
Tapi saya puji dalam hati 
Padahal nak gak puji sekuat hati 

Awak 
Hari ni saya senyum kat awak 
Tapi awak jalan depan saya 
Jadik senyum pun tak guna 


Awak 
Hari ni awak tegur saya 
Tapi saya buat-buat pekak 
Padahal nak elak daripada tak boleh berhenti borak 

Awak 
Hari ni saya tegur awak
Tapi saya tegur awak dalam hati
Jadi awak tak penah dengar all the gud lucks and take care hari-hari

Awak
Hari ni kita duduk semeja
Tapi rasa cam jauh giler
Padahal tak sampai sedepa

Awak
Hari ni awak beratur belakang saya
Tapi saya tak tau nak cakap ape
Jadi saya blah macam tu aje

Awak
Hari ni berubah situasi
Tapi Saya still kat sini
Padahal dah kosong tak berisi

Awak
Hari ni saya nampak awak dari KFC
Tapi awak tak macam dulu lagi
Jadi saya terdiam sendiri

Awak
Hari ni saya dah janji..nak pergi
Tapi tak tau kenapa tak boleh pergi

Awak
Hari ni saya menyesal ada ego yang tinggi
Tapi dah takde harapan kat sini
Jadi nak tak nak terpaksa sendiri

Awak
Hari ni hari terakhir nampak awak
Tapi awak tak toleh sini
Awak fokus kat dia

Awak 

Hari ni saya tengok gambar kita senyum
Tapi gambar tinggal gambar
Nak buang sayang nak simpan sedih

Awak
Eesok antara kita ada “balai berlepas”
Esok…tiada esok untuk saya
Esok juga…tiada esok untuk awak

Awak
Semoga satu hari nanti saya menginsafi diri
Tak nak ada ego tinggi lagi
Buat sakit hati

Awak
Sebelum pergi
Hari ni..kat sini
Saya janji
Semua ni untuk awak…
Sebab kenal awak anugerah terindah pernah saya miliki….
Terima kasih awak….

p/s : semoga AWAK bahagia dengan pilihan hati awak....


a story 2 share.. :)

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.
“I can’t”
“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.
“No… I am going to meet a friend…”

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…

Then one day…

Me: Um, Jin, I …
Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..
Me: I love you.
Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…
Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
Me: Jin…

Jin: Here…take this…
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What’s this?
Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin: Today? Huh?
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted… “Wait…”
Jin: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…
Jin: What?!
Me: Tell me
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”
That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday..After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…
Me: I don’t need it. Jin: What….why…
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…
Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…

Honk~ Honk~
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted… But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
“Jin, move!” HONK~!! “Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.
That’s how he went away from me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.

Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…

“One…two… three…” That was how… I started to count the dolls…
“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…” It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…

“I love you~, I love you~” I dropped the dolls,shocked.

“I….lo..ve…you??” I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.

“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much…

“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…

For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life.

Monday, March 7, 2011

junior blogger